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August 30, 2018 1:12 p.m.


It has been quite a trying few months - and couple of weeks in particular - and I feel the need to vent with everything going on (sort of an elaboration of my last entry).

This has been, quite possibly, the worst summer of my life. Work has been Hell and while I’m looking forward to summer ending, I’m certainly not anticipating this weekend (Labor Day). I had held out hope that things may improve once summer is finished, but I’m not sure.

I know I’ve mentioned this more than once here, but I HATE being in the hotel business and really want out of it. The problem is that I’ve done everything I can think of within my means over the years to make that happen. I put out another round of résumés yesterday and today, so it’s possible that something could pan out, but I’m certainly not holding my breath.

I made a Facebook post today asking those on my list to get in touch with me if they had any leads or suggestions, but there have been no responses thus far. Great - thanks for your help, folks. Yeah, I know - “Well, maybe nobody knows of anything.” Maybe. It’s just disappointing is all.

Another thing that has me down is regarding a girl at work. I want to ask her out, which is a big deal (to me), because it’s very, very rare that I meet anyone I’m interested in asking. I can’t seem to get a couple of minutes alone with her anymore, though, in order to do it.

The strange thing about this is that over the past few weeks or so, I’ve seen her come in to work with a guy and that is sort of what triggered my desire to ask her. See, her and I work in different departments and over the past few months, I’ve seen her when she arrives in the morning (I work midnights). She and I would often chat briefly and she seems very nice, but I actually never thought of asking her out because I didn’t think I knew her well enough. Yeah, I know - “That’s how you get to know someone.” True, but it’s not as if I see a lot of her at work, and when do you reach that point when it’s no longer strange to ask? I don’t know. I can only go with what feels right to me.

Of course, common sense would dictate that seeing her and this guy together means he is someone she has started dating, but I have this weird feeling that’s not necessarily the case. In any case, I am well aware of how childish and stupid it may seem that I never considered asking her out until seeing her with someone else (although I prefer to look at it as being that kick in the ass realization that I needed).

I’ve thought about it, and I’m not sure what I’m going to do. Truthfully, I’m not concerned with looking silly if she is seeing someone (believe me, it certainly wouldn’t be the first time) and I honestly would like the chance to at least ask. I may have to actually take her aside and ask if we can speak privately somewhere. Although lately, I’ve more taken the attitude of “When the opportunity presents itself, it presents itself,” as opposed to desperately wanting to get it over with over the past week or so. I guess we’ll see what happens.

Wow - I REALLY needed to rant about that!

I’m certainly hoping better days are ahead with some changes coming in the fall - although I covered that in my last entry, so I won’t go on about it too much here.

One thing I didn’t mention before, however, is that I’m learning more about podcasting at the moment and am hoping to launch one soon. I’ve run a variety of websites over the years, but podcasts appear to be the way media has gone, so we’ll see what happens there.

I expressed my concerns in an entry last year about my sister getting back together with her ex-boyfriend. I’m happy to say that things appear better this time around, so hopefully my fears were unfounded.

I think that about covers everything. I’m certainly hoping I will be in a better place come my next entry.

August 19, 2018 1:12 p.m.


You know, I really can’t wait for fall. Usually, I’m in no hurry for it to arrive, as I’m not a fan of winter and certainly never look forward to the wretched holiday season, but this has not been a good few months.

Recently, I just feel so … defeated. I’ve been drifting through days and nights not feeling like myself at all much of the time. I’m sure the heat hasn’t helped - not to mention being sick for half the summer - and there are other goings-on bringing me down somewhat as well, but I’m beginning to think that these may just be accelerants.

This feeling isn’t something I can simply chalk up to work, the weather, or even a plethora of things as perhaps others could. It just feels as if I’m going nowhere in almost every way. I’ve actually felt this way for a long time, but for the past while, it’s been bothering me more. And lately, I just can’t seem to pick myself up, and I’m not sure what to do about it.

Come fall, it will definitely be nice to get back to playing darts again for one thing - something I’ve missed a good bit - in addition to other changes which will hopefully bring better days along with them.

I suppose this is somewhat of a strange entry. It's been a while since I wrote here, and I just began typing and from there, just sort of veered off. I guess I’ve just been dealing with this for a while and felt the need to throw it all out there.

But hey, if you read it, thanks for indulging me.